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Slut, Part 2 "Compatible Opposites"
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May 12, 2003, 3:07 a.m.
"Do you find being a respectable submissive, and a wanton slut, are incompatible?"
I think there is a difference from a single minded nymphomaniac and a worthwhile submissive,
yes. If being called a slut, especially by a trusted Dominant, isn't really all that bad (or
rather, can be a wonderful thing) why do I still have a hang up on wanting to act out my
lewd and perverted desires? I believe this falls under the category of knowing what I need
from my submissiveness and what I'm ultimately looking for in a D/s relationship.
"Shouldn't any submissive give their Dom the kind of sex they want?"
Nope. As with any kind of relationship, satisfaction will never be achieved through endless
compromise and sacrifice. The same is true, perhaps even more so, in D/s. Everyone is
unique, and this means that almost always, individuals tend to want something different. The
great fantasy for many people is the idea of Total Master and Total Slave. Unfortunately,
not everyone can give that kind of dedication simply because of real life demands. But
there are many people who wouldn't be able to freely give that kind of mental and physical
freedom to their bodies. Not only that, it simply isn't the desire of *every* submissive to
act like a robotic show dog. Because of the individuality inherent in human beings, personality,
talent and even quirks make each and every sub a different experience for the Dominant.
There will always be some similarities in what Dominants want from subs, but the best will more
than likely exploit those traits that make the sub wholly different from any others. Where this
will show up is unknown, and is a joy in the discovery within the budding relationship. Is there
a particular sway to her walk that makes her look a bit more like a whore? Perhaps something in
the way she speaks intones her delicate and shy desire to be ravished like a total animal. Her
knowledge of some niche culture can be particularly effective in finding those odd
kinks she's unable to speak about. Does she sing, and if so, will she give you a lovely little
song after you've used her mouth a few times? The possibilities are endless, and not always sexual.
There are things a submissive knows she wants. Depending on her own exploration and knowledge,
she'll probably be able to tell you a few fantasies or desires. The more she learns about the
culture, the better idea she's going to have as to what she wants out of the scene. Some people
realize they just want a little kink, while some decide they want to train to become a complete
slave. But a submissive does need to go *through* these stages of exploration, knowledge and
acceptance. There is no immediate transition
from vanilla-kinker to perfect submissive. Simply giving into every sexual act known to man
does not make you a submissive. For me anyway, there must be a willingness to not only please,
but to be pleasing in whole.
I suppose I should make this into a different article, but I might as well go into it now.
What do I want out of being a submissive? I think answering this question will help me figure out
if there is any difference between a respectable submissive and a wanton slut. So, here goes.
- To be desired
For some people, this may not seem that obvious. I personally believe that the only way I'm
going to be happy in my submission is if my unique traits are part of the reason the person I'm
submitting to, enjoys me. Yes, I want to be able to perform just about any task given to me with
skill, enthusiasm and grace, but I honestly feel like I need to be special to them. Call it a
treasure if you must. There must be some reason other than "great fuck machine" for me to feel
cherished. Perhaps it's a bit like the geisha's of Japan. A good submissive should be a good
companion in any situation. Having a stockpile of submissives at your command might seem like
a cool thing from afar, but can you really keep them happy? They are actual human beings after
all. If you've resigned yourself to the life of an "unimportant" slave, that's most certainly
your choice. I personally want a closer relationship than that with my full time Dominant.
- To be talented
I want to be so good at what I do, it makes other people jealous. I want to be the kind of sub
that others look to for advice, that Doms wish they could have, and that nillas wish they had the
courage to try. That means I need to have a lot of positive qualities beyond what can be taught
during submission. I need to have my own mind, desires and skills I have learned outside of simple
play that will enhance my worth as a whole. I can't and won't rely on someone else to help me in
this area. Most of these things will be non-sexual acts. Increasing my own talents in such areas
as music, art, and literature are imperative and on-going tasks. The more I know, the more I can
offer up to surrender.
- To be used hard and completely
I go on and on about how a submissive can't just be a little sex toy, and I stand by that. For me,
I need more. But I do believe I want a deep, entrenching level of use to let me experience the full
blow of submission. I don't know if I want to (or could ever be) a 24/7 slave like some people. That's
a bit hard for me to even fathom at this stage of my exploration. However, while occasional nights
of relaxing sex or just simple beatings are nice, I know that I want to experience that ultra heavy
weight of full dominance pulling me completely free. I want to feel every little bit of my head
free and accessible, every inch of my body tingling with the desire to please, and every possible
emotion that I have to offer. If He wants me in tears, then that's where I want to be.
Of course, this also means that I'll need to give up full access to my body.
So, simple logic says, if I *want* to be used like this, and I *want* to give up all these things,
then it would seem, that I *want* to be able to act like an absolute wanton slut for BOTH the
Dominant, and for my own selfish pleasure. A respectable submissive is simply one who understands
what it is she's giving up, wants to do so, and acts accordingly. In my case, that definition
encompasses my entire being. For some, it may only relate to their bodies. I personally hold the
opinion, as I've stated before, that if you're not giving access to your mind, then either you're
not really thinking about what it is you're doing, or perhaps not allowing yourself to truly
submit. A girl who simply wants to have sex with multiple partners may be a wanton slut, but that
in itself does not make her a submissive.
No, they are not incompatible and no, they are not the same. But yes, a respectable submissive
can act as a wanton slut out of her own desire, or from the Dominant's desire to see
her as such. There is nothing special about a person who wants a lot of sex. There is however,
something intensely wonderful about someone who wants to showoff her ability to submit.
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