April 23, 2003, 1:04 p.m.
Pearlescent grey best describes the soft, dusty white skin of this girl. Her hair mirrors a moonstruck, lake.. white with shimmers of silver that catch the light. It falls without a single curl to her hips, with long bangs brushing over her downcast eyes. Lithe, yet strong limbs, like a dancers, hold her body in a deceptively limp position. Kneeling on the floor in a traditional sieza, she wears a semi-translucent short dress that appears to be wrapped around her body tightly. Through it, you can almost make out every feature of her body... almost. It bears no colour save the white that matches so closely to her own skin. Her arms are covered in the same material, but there are two, thick, black belts wrapped around each of her wrists.
She makes no sound, and barely moves. Only when her name is called does she slip out of her seemingly catatonic state. Without hesitation, she glances up at you, and it is suddenly obvious why she is called, "mint". Were it not for those sharp green eyes, you would swear this alabaster girl was not alive. But as she breathes silently, it is apparent, .. that life is exactly what she was once lacking..
Mint, is an avatar. She was soley created for playing online at bdsm/gor talkers. Over time, I realized that everything about her appearance and mannerisms reflect my desired inner submissive. If I could be my perfection, she is it. She is designed to look deceptively frail. The purpose of this is not to invite rape or unconsensual play, but to expose her inexperience and hesitance in things.
A moment more than a simple glance reveals that she is indeed strong, and not something easily won. It is not that I intentionally resist something I wholeheartedly desire, but I freely admit that I'm a challenge. The reasons behind this are still being explored.
This journal will touch on my frustrations, thoughts and hopefully successes on my path to reaching my inner submissive. These are not just the ramblings of some imaginary character, but a real person struggling to reach a stable state. Mint is simply something for me to identify with along the way.